About becoming a woman
Photography by Eva Penner
I wake up at 22 years old still questioning myself on my belonging to the womankind.. Asking myself what did I miss? People usually tell me that I am an old soul… I think I’m more a mix of the spirit of an eternal child with the soul of a 70 year old, living the experience of a 22. But what about my body though? I’ve just realized how through my teenage years I’ve decided to completely deny the existence of my body. It was an envelope that I was forced to embody. I stopped taking dance classes, I stopped wearing bathing suits, experiencing nakedness only in my sealed bathroom. Man I hated that thing, why it wasn’t going through the same phases as my friends, my sisters, my cousins..
22 years old.. Am I a woman? What’s being a woman? Did the other learned during they teenage years when I was putting so much effort wearing that shell; adopting that psychological state in which I wasn’t allowed to like the same things that girls was supposed to? Forcing myself to be too cool to like boys, to wear make up and heels?
I am 22 years old now and I’m still picturing myself as a kid. Is it to grow up that I fear? I’m scared to be in a relationship?What does sharing intimacy with a grown human make me be? Is that it?
Do you become a woman the moment you accept the reflexion of your sexual self being?